Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
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guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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