I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
