I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i already hear my dad disowning me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Semen is not good for contacts.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
