Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
