wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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