AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize