In the future we'll all be gay
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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