We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
