Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm both gender and math confused
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
