Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
