Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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