What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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