Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
