I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The power of my boobs compel you
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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