she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize