So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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