Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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