You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We need to get me chipped asap
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
