i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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