i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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