I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize