perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
