yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize