found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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