Your face is a jimmy john
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
COCAINE IS GR8
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize