This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dick very happy bro
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize