Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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