Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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