I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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