You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
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I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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