the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
