i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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