which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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