Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
where are you?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.