you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.