Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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