can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
