Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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