Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
