You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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