Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hate your face
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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