i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just googled if crying burns calories
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
