i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize