So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
