I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
