If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize