I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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