Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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