Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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