I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
