dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
