how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
