I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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