he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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