Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
