why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
