wat bout pragnant strippers??
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
