Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
