who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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